It should be a diary.
Hey! harusnya blog itu diary ! hahah.
Demi menjaga konten, jadi ga posting-posting yang lain. abis, kalo diary ntar jatohnya kayak blog yang dulu. tapi, keinginan mencurahkan hati terus menggebu. gimana dong? 😕
A short conversation between me and my friend lead me to a thought, it's a question actually.
What I didn't tell to her is, the reason why I did it. The reason why I made that thought as my grip of life.
Be-cause....I always confronted with unpleasant situations.
I was so sad last night. And I cried a lot all the way home (it takes an hour).
In our conversation, I feel like, oh, okay, so I was wrong all this time.
But, when I went home (chat ended), at first I was like, hmm, okay, I was wrong then I need to put aside everything of my thought cause that was wrong and I have to accept that I was wrong.
(at this time I'm still strong. ahah)
But then I suddenly cried because I realize something.
I remember the reason why I become like this.
Here is the analogy :
you've been bullied by this person all the time.
and then, now, you hit him (only once).
but what's going viral is you hit him.
and then all people around the world say that you are cruel, you're so mean, you're heartless etc.
I'm just trying to save myself. but look what I get ?
when he bullied me, people keep silent.
when I revenge him, people said that I was cruel. what thef... 😞
again, I'm saying...I'm just trying to save myself... 😞😞😞😞
I still believe that an advise must be adapted to one's condition.
you can't ask me to keep silent when I have to say a lot.
you can't ask me to be crazy when I'm too crazy.
see the person first !
BUT, wallahua'lam...
all I know is my faith is getting lower... yeah, I know.. it is bad. I need to fix it.
I need a time. I need everything that needed.
Don't force me to solve a math quiz in a minute. just let me do it even it takes 30 minutes or 30 days or 30 years.
just let me do it.
I just wanna be my self.
as you can see,
being in the middle of two states IS NOT GOOD AT ALL. 😞
_____
I need to make a happy content next time. I can't promise it. Sorry, I'm just sad. 😔
Demi menjaga konten, jadi ga posting-posting yang lain. abis, kalo diary ntar jatohnya kayak blog yang dulu. tapi, keinginan mencurahkan hati terus menggebu. gimana dong? 😕
A short conversation between me and my friend lead me to a thought, it's a question actually.
"Sebenernya, manusia itu harus diperlakukan sesuai dengan usia fisiknya atau usia mentalnya ?"I found myself as an immature person. My friend also told me that I'm too selfish. Ego. I play ego too much of everything. Like avoiding something that I don't like and leave them just like that.
What I didn't tell to her is, the reason why I did it. The reason why I made that thought as my grip of life.
Be-cause....I always confronted with unpleasant situations.
I was so sad last night. And I cried a lot all the way home (it takes an hour).
In our conversation, I feel like, oh, okay, so I was wrong all this time.
But, when I went home (chat ended), at first I was like, hmm, okay, I was wrong then I need to put aside everything of my thought cause that was wrong and I have to accept that I was wrong.
(at this time I'm still strong. ahah)
But then I suddenly cried because I realize something.
I remember the reason why I become like this.
Here is the analogy :
you've been bullied by this person all the time.
and then, now, you hit him (only once).
but what's going viral is you hit him.
and then all people around the world say that you are cruel, you're so mean, you're heartless etc.
I'm just trying to save myself. but look what I get ?
when he bullied me, people keep silent.
when I revenge him, people said that I was cruel. what thef... 😞
again, I'm saying...I'm just trying to save myself... 😞😞😞😞
I still believe that an advise must be adapted to one's condition.
you can't ask me to keep silent when I have to say a lot.
you can't ask me to be crazy when I'm too crazy.
see the person first !
BUT, wallahua'lam...
all I know is my faith is getting lower... yeah, I know.. it is bad. I need to fix it.
I need a time. I need everything that needed.
Don't force me to solve a math quiz in a minute. just let me do it even it takes 30 minutes or 30 days or 30 years.
just let me do it.
I just wanna be my self.
as you can see,
being in the middle of two states IS NOT GOOD AT ALL. 😞
_____
I need to make a happy content next time. I can't promise it. Sorry, I'm just sad. 😔
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